yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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