Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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