He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
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I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
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I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My penis needs a shock collar
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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