Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
