My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Randomize
