the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
