Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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