i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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