I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
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I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
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HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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