The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
