Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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