i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
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No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
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I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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