i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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