Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
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Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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