plz talk dirty to me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
