i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
