im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I licked your asshole in confidence.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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