It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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