between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize