You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
