Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
