drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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