We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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