so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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