if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
