hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
