fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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