..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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