I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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