mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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