there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
