i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize