I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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