I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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