i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize