i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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