Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
