True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
