i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants are for mortals
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
jump out the window naked night went bad
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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