Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
