That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
