idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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