My brain says no but my pants say off.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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