She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
