I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
