I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
