are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
