If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
