just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
