did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
