belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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