Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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