you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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