A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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