I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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