sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
